Politics

This page redirects from "Men in Suits Bringing About "Change" and "Vetoing for the Lulz"

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Politics, often described by the lesser informed as "organised leadership" is essentially the worldwide prevention of economic, scientific and social advance.

History


Politics was invented in 1973, by Joe Politics, who took a long hard look at world leadership, and decided not nearly enough was done for the lulz. To combat this, Mr Politics decided to reorganise the entire governmental system into fourteen groups of over-stretched Slinkies, which would be cast into the fires of Mount Doom. The survivors would then be melted down and made into amusing bobblehead toys.

At some point, it was brought to Mr Politics' attention (reportedly by either Jimmy Slinky, MP of Norfolk, or Michael Fabricant, MP of Lichfield) that his method of world politics, while widely popular, resulting in no decisions being made whatsoever. In fact, in the industrial standstill that followed the introduction of the new system, 47 bobbleheads were produced without heads. At one point, James Blunt (then MP of Greater Penkridge, but later to become Grand Overlord of All the Multiverse and Beyond) was forced to temporarily adopt a new system in his constituency, in which the bobbleheads were produced manually by weasels bred to have opposable thumbs and a sense of style (this started a chain reaction that led to war between Blunt and Charlie Brown, MP of Freiberg, but for the present time the only downside was that four weasels were tragically killed by Bobblehead Activists, fighting to replace the bobbleheads' heads with that of David St Thomas, a popular musician at the time.

Recent Reforms
In recent times, a more extreme MP, Jon Davies, the MP of Buddyshire, has vowed to reform the political system with the following key changes:
 * All votes will now be carried out in the prescence of James Blunt or a good lookalike.
 * All James Blunt lookalikes are to be sentenced to death after voting.
 * All opposed to Jon Davies' iron-fisted rule will be forced to wear James Blunt masks and attend votings.
 * All residents of the Lone State of Freiburg (the economically-efficient flying city) are to be subject to the musical works of James Blunt from 9am-12pm and from 12pm-7am the following morning.
 * Anyone who opposes all rules enforced by Jon Davies will be punished with a day's sentence of which they will be locked in a darkened room with nothing but a torch and Will Baggott.