Religion

This article is a redirection of "Codswallop".

Religion



Religion, otherwise known as "Complete Bullshit", is some sort of cultist movement including the majority of human population, throughout the ages

Bill Oddie, seen here, is an avid hater of religion. Look into his politically incorrect eyes, feel the burn of Oddie.

Christianity

If we see the events that occured during the dark ages, we come to the conclusion that all religious followers are Dumb Fuckwits. With this in mind, any followers of the evil sorcerer, Jesus Christ, should be torn to pieces by angry scientifical theory following, mobs.



Here are a few ways of getting out of Church, via employing the method of being thrown out forcefully.

1: Take part in Pagan rituals, by dancing around an open flame, naked, gargling sheep blood. This should be done on a sunday morning.

2. Telling the vicar to piss off, when he tries to touch your phallus.

3. Pee in the confession box.

4. Spit out the wine, and state that the blood of Christ is sacred and should not be pissed away later on.

5. Go to an African-American funeral service and state, "What do Ethiopians take to funerals? Knives and forks."

6. Pray to Chuck Norris loudly.

7. Trip over the guy who runs past shouting "I love Jesus" in an open Gospel.

8. Have sex with a nun.

9. Before a vicar conducts a Christening, hump the air and say "Give her one for me, son".

10. Ring the church bells and state to everyone that the sky is falling.

11. Send your children to Sunday school with the idea that the Holocaust was a lie.

12. Bring the politically incorrect parts of the Old Testament to everyones attention.

13. Threaten the vicar with smiting.

14. Smite the vicar

15. Take a vibrator to a christening, hold it up, and shout "Let's get this ceremony started, it has thirty-eight functions"!

16. Play the Lion King soundtrack during a silent prayer

Judaism

According to Doctor Seuss' stories, Jews were the people who killed Christ. This was because they were characterised as complete arseholes. Not only because Doctor Seuss is an ass, but because Jewish people are too.

Doctor Seuss' hate of the Jewish population was sparked by family issues. His Grandfather, Fritz Seuss, had a major role in the Holocaust, as illustrated by Seuss in his book "Fishy Wishy, Ooey Gooey, Killy Jewey ". This characterised Doctor Seuss, rightly, as a Far Right-Wing Nazi.